36 Harsh Truths in 36 years

Prologue:

It has been more than three lakh hours on this earth for me. Over a lifetime, you will meet approximately 80,000 people. I think I have crossed 50,000+. But among them thousands are in closed circles. Maybe each one of them had a lesson to be learnt. Some were bitter and some were sweet. Some were bitter sweet which I call them ‘harsh truths’.

In this mirage that made no sense, I searched for my life’s essence and these are my insights so far.

1. There is NO purpose in Life

All the living creatures in the world just live life. There is a reason why your dog is more happy than you. People who were in quest of searching for the meaning of life are lost. Be happy for being alive. That’s it.

2. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

The deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure; we do not enlighten our presence. We do not live to the fullest of our potential. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

3. Never complain, Never explain

If you complain you are exposing your negative side to the people you are complaining to. There is no point in explaining too. People just listen to what they want to hear. There is NO outcome of doing both.

4. Saying YES to people, is a NO to yourself

Saying “NO” is a crucial skill that is often overlooked. It is a powerful tool that helps us prioritize our time, energy, and resources. Saying “NO” is not about being negative or rejecting people; it’s about being honest with ourselves and others about what we can and cannot do. If you are okay with everybody then you are nobody.

5. Fail to know your worth

Life will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life but it is not about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how you know what you’re worth.

6. Weak people are dangerous

Weak people are most dangerous. Sickness is always self induced based on need for care. Lot of people will inflict sickness themselves to be cared for. Do not be deceived for being compassionate to the weak. Be rude to the weak.

7. People fascade to face society 

People come with a face to face society. People who appear with real faces suffer to fit the drama. Human beings are hypocritical by nature, so stop idolizing the wrong people.

8. Everyone is selfish, the point is who is less.

Selfishness is a universal trait. We all have moments when we prioritize our own needs, whether it’s grabbing the last slice of pizza or aiming for that promotion at work. But the real distinction lies in the degree of selfishness and how it affects our interactions with others.

9. You give power to people who you blame.

When we blame others for our misfortunes or unhappiness, we inadvertently relinquish our own power. Blaming external circumstances or other people might seem like an easy way to justify our difficulties, but it ultimately keeps us stuck in a victim mentality. If you observe whenever you blame you are giving power to whom you blame.

10. You have to defy your conditioning to grow

All your thoughts are all the result of our conditioning. Conditioning from people you meet and environment you are in. It is wise to have better friends and a good environment. 

11. Whom, not How

‘How to do it?’ takes a longer time to get things done. If you approach the right person. They will tell you the hacks they employ to get ahead in the game. Always think about whom to approach to get trained, not how to do it.

12. Love comes to worthy

Love requires you to be worthy. People love you based on how worthy you are. If you lose your worth people will stop loving. Observe the defeated kings, politicians.

13. Thinking, is not Doing

I fell in love with an essay by strangest Loop

Preparing to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.
Scheduling time to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.
Making a to-do list for the thing isn’t doing the thing.
Telling people you’re going to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.
Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn’t doing the thing.
Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn’t doing the thing. 
Hating on other people who have done the thing isn’t doing the thing. 
Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn’t doing the thing.
Fantasizing about all of the adoration you’ll receive once you do the thing isn’t doing the thing.
Reading about how to do the thing isn’t doing the thing. 
Reading about how other people did the thing isn’t doing the thing. 
Reading this essay isn’t doing anything.
The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.

14. People judge ‘cos thinking is hard

“How to think?” is also a skill which can be learnt. It is hard to learn how to think. Most people do not know how to think, that’s why people judge. 

15. Not every dog is friendly, nor are people.

Remember if you feed the biting dog, rabies is unavoidable. It is important to pick who is favorable to you and grow with them. In other words do not feed every mad dog around you.

16. Love is always conditional.

There is nothing like unconditional love.The desire to be loved is an illusion. You don’t get in life what you want, you get in life what you are.

17. It is difficult to tell the truth

People live by lies. Most people don’t really want the truth. They just want to relax below a cool shady tree. They just want constant reassurance that what they believe is the truth.

18. People don’t care as they appear

Most people seem to talk to you as if they care. But they are happy within themselves for your problems. There is No point in expecting people to help you. A deer in the jungle doesn’t expect other deers to help escape. It just RUNS. You too.

19. Perfect life is an illusion

We are always fascinated by movies, books about the illusion of a perfect life. We chase and chase the beautiful Cars, big houses, huge Money, beautiful people around. It just doesn’t exist. As they say in vedas everything is māyā

20. Morals have aesthetic criteria

If you crush a cockroach you are a hero. If you crush a beautiful butterfly, you are a villian. If you observe, people tend to help a beautiful girl more than the average one. All the morals are biased. We just need to see the truth.

21. Life is an art, do Not math it

Life is an open secret, still we find it hard to reveal it just cos we are missing the basics. 

When was the last time we enjoyed sunrise, sunset, a butterfly, clouds, rain, etc., We are just here for a slice of time yet we try to apply logic to everything and complicate the things.

22. People actually do NOT miss you.

When you are dead, people do not miss YOU. People just miss your contributions you made in their life. We live by the illusion that people care for our existence. 

23. If somebody is fucking your life, Don’t give them a condom.

Unacceptable title? but it is what it is. Whenever you entertain negative people in your life. It is as good as giving condom to people to fuck you. We just have to eliminate people who are not good enough for our growth.

24. Arguing is a waste of time unless you are in a debate

When you argue with people, people consider listening in their context. So, no matter how hard you try you will waste your time.

25. Everyone has to think different, in the same way

Embracing both uniqueness and commonality is essential. Everyone is conditioned in a different way. Everyone’s environment is different. But we need to think the same way to co-exist.

26. Conflict delayed is conflict multiplied 

The best way to avoid conflict is to engage them. Any conflict delayed is conflict multiplied. If you don’t engage conflicts in time eventually you will face them in the ugliest days. Trust me, you will not like it.

27. Everything is just a perhaps, Syādvāda

If you had asked “Does God exist?” to the smartest people ever. They will say, “Perhaps.” If you ask him, “Are you absolutely sure about it?” They will say, “Perhaps.” They will never  budge from their perhaps. Everything is only a perhaps, because everything is relative. Nothing can be said absolutely, certainly, categorically. It depends, and one thing can be looked at from many standpoints.

everything is just a perhaps; nothing is absolutely certain, just a perhaps. Maybe even my words.

28. Money is just a tool

It makes Life easy. Money can buy happiness to some extent. Rain is always enjoyed by people in cars, not by people on bicycles. But having the most expensive car is a bad idea.

29. Race for validation

We do things to impress people. We want to get validated and accepted by society. No one remembers who lived 500 years ago in the place you are in. Then why race?

30. Reality doesn’t care if you are good or bad

Many people believe that being good or kind should naturally lead to positive outcomes. But the universe operates on principles beyond human concepts of morality. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that because you are a good person good things should happen to you. However, reality is governed by the frequency you emit, NOT by the tally of your good deeds. 

31. Don’t be a nice man, be a good man.

Being nice tends to be used by everyone. There is nothing wrong in being compassionate. You cannot burn yourself to keep others warm. Stop helping ungrateful people. I learnt this in a very hard way. Else stakes will be high. Even your life. Your mental health is more important than their unnecessary drama.

32. You can’t get away with anything,

There is a price for everything. Every action has consequences. Every mistake has a price to be paid. Effect may not be immediate but eventually it will. Every decision, Every action, will have an impact somewhere in the future. Every mistake has consequences. Every corrupt person will have insomnia. They just don’t disclose it.

33. Enjoy whatever comes in

No matter how hard you try to have your favorite songs in your own player, Life surprises with new songs you never listened to.  Sometimes you can lose a game you don’t even play. We live our whole life defending something we didn’t choose. Life is just like radio. Enjoy what just comes in.

34. Hospital is not a good place to spend money

I’m a person who seldom visited a doctor for almost 20 years. But unfortunately I’m diagnosed with a skull base tumor. I learnt that hospitals are not a good place to spend money. At times It is better to reflect and take care of your mental and physical health.

35. The whole earth is a cremation ground.

The whole earth is speck of dust in the whole universe. Eventually earth will die with everyone on it. We are consumed by nothing. This simple thought has to make us humble yet we think the world revolves around us.

36. There is no hack, It’s YOU against YOU

No matter how much motivational talks you listen to. It wont work until you do. It is just YOU against YOU. If the same problem continues to show up in your life, problems are NOT the problem. You are the problem.

Epilogue:

As per Indian life expectancy, if everything goes fine, I’ll live around 3000+ days. Just 3000 days or maybe less than that. Every hour counts, every minute counts. Every breath counts to make the best of everything.

Maybe there is no ultimate in life. LIFE itself is ultimate