Ways to irritate people

  1. Give missed call for after every reply while texting.
  2. Posting every photo you take on social networking.
  3. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…”
  4. Tap pen continuously when others are talking to you.
  5. Speak only in a “robot” voice.
  6. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
  7. Swap right click to left click on mouse settings.
  8. Leave your turn signal (indicator) on for fifty miles.
  9. Name your dog “Dog.”
  10. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
  11. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
  12. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace”.
  13. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  14. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc:” them to your boss.
  15. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  16. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
  17. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
  18. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  19. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  20. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
  21. Drum on every available surface.
  22. Remove remote control batteries.
  23. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  24. Ask call center employee for dates.
  25. Hide pens in office.
  26. Set alarms for random times.
  27. Honk and wave to strangers.
  28. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
  29. Begin all your sentences with “ooh la la!”
  30. Laugh at sad scenes in a movie theater.
  32. only type in lowercase.
  33. don’t use any punctuation either
  34. Pay for your dinner with only coins.
  35. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
  36. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, its gone now.”
  37. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  38. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
  39. Ask people what gender they are.
  40. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
  41. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
  42. Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.
  43. Wear a LOT of cologne.
  44. Tear newspaper in small pieces and toss before fan in top speed.
  45. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your “superior mental processing.”
  46. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your “imaginary friend.”
  47. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
  48. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a “magic picture.”
  49. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
  50. Never make eye contact.
  51. Never break eye contact.
  52. Tell wrong time when someone asks for time.
  53. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
  54. Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.

Do you more crazy ones? Mention them in comments. I’ll add to the list.

Praveen Hanchinal

Praveen Hanchinal is an Educator, IT Consultant, Professional Speaker on Artificial Intelligence (AI, ML, DL), Cloud, Big Data, IoT (Internet of Things) and BlockChain. Have been working on AI, Cloud, Big Data, IoT technologies for 9.0 years. He is a Team Lead, Educator, IT Consultant, trains and gives talks on topics of his interest and educates people. Trained around 11000+ people which include teachers, students, industry professionals and government officials on recent technologies.

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