Ways to irritate people
- Give missed call for after every reply while texting.
- Posting every photo you take on social networking.
- Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…”
- Tap pen continuously when others are talking to you.
- Speak only in a “robot” voice.
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
- Swap right click to left click on mouse settings.
- Leave your turn signal (indicator) on for fifty miles.
- Name your dog “Dog.”
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
- Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
- Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace”.
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc:” them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
- Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
- Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
- Drum on every available surface.
- Remove remote control batteries.
- Staple papers in the middle of the page.
- Ask call center employee for dates.
- Hide pens in office.
- Set alarms for random times.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
- Begin all your sentences with “ooh la la!”
- Laugh at sad scenes in a movie theater.
- ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- only type in lowercase.
- don’t use any punctuation either
- Pay for your dinner with only coins.
- Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, its gone now.”
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
- Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
- Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.
- Wear a LOT of cologne.
- Tear newspaper in small pieces and toss before fan in top speed.
- Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your “superior mental processing.”
- Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your “imaginary friend.”
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
- Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a “magic picture.”
- Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
- Never make eye contact.
- Never break eye contact.
- Tell wrong time when someone asks for time.
- Make appointments for the 31st of September.
- Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.
Do you more crazy ones? Mention them in comments. I’ll add to the list.
Nice