Why I Don’t Want to Save Planet?

Disclaimer: Dark Humor Ahead. Read at your own risk.

Everyone seems obsessed with “saving the planet.” NGOs, News, influencers. Everyone wants me to recycle, use less plastic, drive less, and use metal straws. The people screaming “Save the Planet” are usually the ones flying private jets with tons of AC to climate summits burning 10,000 liters of fuel to give a TED talk about carbon footprints.

Why? So that future generations can live happily ever after.

Excuse me? Future generations?

When they’re alive, I’ll be dead. Why should I spend my life sorting garbage and loving trees just so some unborn kid can have fresh air to breathe while scrolling on the iPhone 48 Pro Max?

Why is it so important that life must continue?

Let’s be honest. Nobody really has a solid answer to this: Why is it so important that life must continue?

We reproduce, endlessly. Ask people, “Why did you have children?” Most will fumble. Some will mumble about “family legacy,” others will say “society expects it,” and a few will just admit “it just happened.” Very inspiring reasons to keep the human race going, isn’t it?

The ultimate goal of life, according to many traditions, is Moksh. Moksh is to have freedom from the cycle of birth and death. But here’s the catch, how exactly are we supposed to break the cycle if we keep enthusiastically producing children?

It’s like trying to quit smoking by handing out free cigarettes.

Imagine this: someone spends 70 years of their life in meditation, tapasya, renunciation and all to achieve Moksh. They finally die. And what does society do? Celebrates the birth of three more babies the next morning. Congratulations, the cycle continues. Round and round, the cosmic joke goes on.

Mother Earth Is Not Your Mother

And while we’re at it, can we stop calling Earth “Mother”? She’s not exactly nurturing. This same planet has wiped out species with ice ages, volcanic eruptions, and asteroids. She turned our ancestors into fossils and then squeezed them into oil which we now happily burn in our cars. That’s not a mother; that’s a mafia boss recycling bodies into resources. Yet people sing songs to “Mother Earth” while filling their tanks with great-Grandma.

And meanwhile, I should feel guilty about enjoying the sweet roar of an ICE (Internal Combustion Engine) engine? Sorry, but that growl of petrol burning on the highway, that’s music. The smell of fuel, the vibration of the engine, the joy of acceleration it’s all fleeting, but real. Why trade that for some future where people brag about charging times and carbon credits? Pluto is better Mother.

Outsourcing Brains to Machines

And the cherry on top? They’ve even outsourced thinking. A generation that thanks GPTs for writing their assignments, leave letters, giving them ideas, and even generating their love letters. Thanking a machine for spitting out words. Really? If that’s the height of human intelligence, maybe glaciers should melt faster.

Forgive Me:

And let’s be brutally honest, who exactly are we saving the planet for? For kids who spend 10 hours a day glued to their phones, scrolling Instagram reels, making duck-face selfies, and chasing likes as if likes were reputation capital? For the TikTok philosophers and Snapchat intellectuals of WhatsApp University who can’t survive without Wi-Fi but can survive without purpose?

So forgive me if I’m not rushing to “save the planet.” In fact, sometimes I feel like burning even more fuel just to melt those glaciers faster speeding up the grand finale. Why drag this circus out for centuries when we can wrap it up early? Maybe extinction is the most merciful gift humanity can give itself. Maybe the kindest thing we can do for future generations is to make sure there are no future generations.

Until then, I’ll keep my plastic straw, my petrol engine, and my peace of mind. Cheers.

PS: Do NOT share this. UNICEF may hunt for me!